Freak Incidents

Last week, when I woke up to go to work, I had the shock of my life.

The face that I saw in the mirror was buffed and bruised beyond recognition.
Both of my eyes were swollen as if I was the punching bag of Prince Naseem. The bridge of my nose was also swollen to 5 times it size.
I took my self to the 24 hour walk-in clinic. After two injections of cortisone and allergen and a 5-days course of medication, I returned home still looking like the victim of assault.
Three days later, my older features started reappearing and their size started shrinking back to normal.

Yesterday at Iftar, after I had my dates, I had a bite of a piece of Yemeni falafel. Somehow the soft flesh of the falafel chipped my front tooth!! It is more than a chip. I now have one tooth that is obviously shorter than the rest. It is also obviously misshapen.
My teeth now look like as if I were subjected to a windmill-style uppercut followed by an overhand right and directed at my teeth.


Since I am officially insomniac for the last week (I averaged 2 hours of sleep per day), I have plenty of time to think.

What I thought of last night while I stared at the clock tick on to the early hours of the morning was this:

1. I must be being attacked by a boxing Spirit. Some evil Spirit that thinks its Clay of the spirits world has chosen me to practice on.
2. This Spirit aims at the top first then goes lower.
3. The next target could be my chest. So I should expect a bruised heart, a broken rib or maybe a new type of injury. A bleeding lung?
4. There were 10 days exactly between the two incidents. The third might be after 20 days! But why assume the Spirit will slow the frequency of its attacks. It could be exact with its timings and the bleeding will start in 10 days. But psychopaths, and this Spirit must be one to attack someone angelic like me, get excited with each hit. Like addiction, they want to get their next fix sooner. So it could attack me again in 5 days. Or even sooner!!

Hmmmm how can I ask the Spirit to aim higher and land a couple of lead right hands to the head instead?

I need someone to knock me off!! I need to sleep!!