During the last two months, I have written few resignation letters just to go to sleep… here are some:
(1)Today I celebrate a milestone in my professional career. Five years ago was my 1st day in the *** group. I am today, the only employee to last so long, at least on one contract, in the ever changing financial community in Dubai, and to sustain the waves of turnover in ***. Today, I could relate to the winners of “Survivor”, even though I don’t get the million, not even close to it.
Although I love the thrills of riding a roller coaster, the final year was like going down & down & down. That was not fun.
During the last 6 months in particular, I felt I was serving a prison sentence. I was not happy, I was stressed, I was depressed. I was working so hard, proving my self again and again, yet being taken for granted. Actually it was worse than just being taken for granted, for incompetence was being rewarded.
Since December, I knew I would be leaving. I knew, that my loyalty was a product of naivety, and that I will never be able to play the politics right. My patience was pushed till it was chattered, and hope after hope, was destroyed.
I served with my best skills and knowledge, and was always loyal 2 *** and its name. I hope that this would be the memory you will have of my tenure.
5th of Feb 2002, i was 23 years old, naive, trustful, and ready to work for minimal wage just so I don’t stay at home.
5 years later, I’m fed up of the corporate politics, where friendships are superficial, ass kissing is required, honesty is never accepted, and ineptitude rewarded. I served my sentence, and it’s time to live again.
(2)(Addressed to Captain Clueless, who in reality is my favourite character in the office)
Dear *,
Patience is a virtue, but it was my biggest sin! And I have decided to save my soul before the end of the world. My comic book is now full of stories about the company that had the bored, the idiot, the asshole, the ball scratcher, the liar, the cheater, the ignorant, and the bufuker. I will publish it one day soon, and will dictate it to all for not inspiring me to write it (because really it would be just a biography!) but for the money I would get out of the book as you never paid me enough!
I think I stayed for 5 years because each day was an episode of a soap opera and everyone knows how addictive these are. But that's it. I'm killing my character out of this series, and heading to a new role with people who can act. Act as in actually close their own deals and their longest meetings are not on what carpets we should have in the office!
Rest assured that I will kill my character off with no possible way for her comeback at all, unless of course as a ghost to haunt you all for the pain and suffering I have endured all that time. A ghost that will go and shove papers up your end-holes till they come out of your oral holes!
That's said, I thank you all for firing all the good people, who became good friends. Our bitching sessions will ensure that you all go to heaven, even though you really don't want to. But I'm sure once you reach heaven, everyone there will fight to leave it to go to hell. Heaven will then have a blue stupid logo and it will dry out, and only you would be stuck in it. While hell will prosper with all the good people in it and will become the new promise after life!
But * since you don't read long emails. I RESIGN.
(3)Given on 25th of March… I’m a Free Butterfly!
Dear *,
Please accept this letter as a formal notification of my resignation from my position with *** effective today.
My five years tenure in *** was like a roller coaster ride: thrilling, exciting, and sometimes nerves wrecking. I learnt how to work harder and go the extra yard and how to deal with many different types of people. However, after all the ups and downs, the end has come and I have to disembark. It’s time to go and try another attraction.
If I can be of any assistance during this transition, please let me know.
Sincerely,
PARTY TIME!!!
