(-)ity

I’m embarking on a new project, a project that fulfils one of my favourite hobbies.

I sent an email to my friends and acquaintances giving them a hint on what I plan to do and asking them for their help by giving me certain information.

I received many replies. All of them had best wishes and encouragements as well as the information requested.

Except one email.

This email came from a person whom I consider as a dear close friend.

The reply implied that I am bored and this project is to entertain me for a short while but I will lose interest, as usual, and it will end.

At first I laughed it off. But then when I started to get more supporting emails, I took another look at my friend’s reply.

The email was negative. It irritated me.
I kept thinking why the negativity. I tried to think of other similar projects that I started and failed or let slip because of lost interest. But there were none.
I started to question the doubt shown in my commitment. For a second I doubted my self and wondered if I was capable of pulling this through.

The negative remark left a very sour taste in my already very dry mouth.

Then I took a minute and looked closer into my history with this friend.

• When I started this blog, this friend had the same opinion. I’m a bored spoilt girl, and my blog is just a transient phase that will last till I find another game. More than a year later, I could prove that even if I don’t post frequently, my blog was not short-lived.
• I know this friend for almost five years, and I’m pretty sure that this friend knows about my passion for this hobby on which this project is based on. My friend must know that I’m trying to get one step closer to achieving a dream.

So why would my friend have doubts about my commitment? I can’t see any reason for it. The only explanation I can muster is that my friend must think I am not capable or don’t have the talent required to pull this thing of.
Here I pause.

If my close friend, & friend of 5 years, do not believe in my abilities, and it happens that I value this friend’s opinion, then I should not just pause but halt!

I don’t remember an instance where my friend actually praised what I think is a talent. On the other hand, I don’t remember if my friend ever criticized it either. The response was always neutral.

I’ve tried to dissect this matter further and look at it closer but I couldn’t come up with any reason for the negativity.

The sourness I felt from this negative reply saddened me. I shouldn’t feel this way.
But my friend failed me.

A friend has to believe in you. A friend has to support you and to encourage you.
A friend, even when s/he thinks that you are making the biggest mistake in your life but also knows that your heart is set on doing this, always wishes you the best of luck and offers unlimited help and in all forms to see you through it.

A friend should never put you down.

So what do I get to say to my friend now?
Thank you for not believing in me. Thank you for your negativity, but keep it to yourself. I will do this.
I will do it because, alhamdullah, I have so many real supporting friends, who believe in me and are backing me up 100%.
You just wait and see. Or don't wait. It's really up to you and I already know that it doesn't matter to me if you see it or not.