alllllo?!

My usual telephone conversation starts like this:

(Ring Ring Riiiiiing…. I love that Sony Ericcson ring tone)

Allo…Hey…hi, how are you?...What’s up? Yeah all is good…ahaaa

(And if the caller doesn’t talk, I’m doomed!)

I hate talking on the phone (I never call people, and most probably it’s why my phone hardly ever rings!)! I hate making small idle conversation because I do not know how to do it! If I’m going to spend hours talking to a friend, why not just meet and talk!! It’s much better, more personal, more intimate and benevolent. Even stupid & rubbish talk sounds fun in person than on the phone!

Phone calls must convey a message, a quick one. I can’t dwell. I know that sometimes I sound restless and as if I just want to get rid of the person on the line. It is, unfortunately, the truth, even though I don’t mean to be rude. It’s like being on the road. I hate being on any road which is why I drive fast to reach my destination! (And you thought I drive fast cause I’m a crazy driver who lives dangerously! Ha!!)
I think people who spend long hours on the phone are one of two types: they either have nothing better to do and are bored senseless, or are in love and can’t get enough of the other person!

I could chat endlessly on MSN. But then I am online cause I have nothing better else to do, right?!!

Stick me with someone in a small room for a couple of hours with no entertainment and I can talk continuously and we would leave the room as best friends.

But put my best friend on the phone, and I can’t talk. (Except if I’m bitching of course. When I need an ear to listen to me moaning, I don’t mind if it’s stuck to a phone anywhere in the world!)

Actually I’m not a great chatter even when phones are not involved. I just don’t do small talk!
I can’t converse with anyone I come across, I can’t strike a conversation with cashiers (so where did you learn Math? Really? That’s where my second cousin girlfriend’s uncle taught?), waiters (how are you today? Oh by the way, the last tip I gave was 25% so please don’t take a leak in my plate), people I’m queuing with (yeah, for the hundredth time, this line is not moving at all), or waiting with in a doctor’s room (So, what brings you here today? Really? I had that rash few months ago!!).

It’s not that I have a problem coming up with topics needed for small talk (heck I have this blog don’t I?!!). I can talk about sports, television, fashion, poetry, music, cooking (I can make tiramisu and I consider it cooking cause I have to mix some ingredients!!), gardening (I hate plants, such nuisance, all that care you give them and they don’t even say thank you!!) and of course politics (Being anti-governments, my views could never be outdated, not with the governments always wreaking havoc and ripping off the people!)

No I don’t have issues finding a topic to talk about. I just don’t think it is necessary to talk to strangers when we meet them. I also think that if a friend wants to talk to me, that friend should just call and tell me to meet up to tell me all. Meeting is better than a long long phone call, and it gets the full attention (well maybe not if we meet in a place with so many good looking men!) and reaction required!! Plus no one can claim that you will lose your hearing for prolonged usage!!

I know I should change. I mean, I can’t meet all of my friends all the time (definitely can’t as it took me 5 months to finally get the time to meet Huda!!!). I really have to learn how to be patient on the phone or I will be losing all of my friends.

Therefore, this is my new resolution: I will call one friend a day. The call will be at least 30 minutes long.

The question is: who shall I start with?
URGH!!! This calling thing is already such a pain!!