A Girl’s Best Friend

I love diamonds. Who doesn’t? (Except if they are really weird and believe in the DeBeers conspiracy to scam the whole world and manipulate it by “precious” diamonds!)

I can never have enough of diamonds. However, you won’t see me wearing a dress studded with diamonds like Maria Menounos, nor wearing a pair of 14K, diamond-studded sandals by Stuart Weitzman. I won’t be carrying the special edition diamond Tulip Ego, the Motorola diamond studded mobile, or the Samsung diamond studded platinum MP3 player.

Of course the main reason is that I don’t own a diamond mine, nor have a McDuck vault full with money. I can not afford any of these things.

Even if I could afford it, I wouldn’t buy them. It is such a waste of money and I’m not into extravagant squandering (Buying LVs is not considered squandering but simply an indulgence!)

But if you know someone whose life dream is to see everything around them in diamonds, Acuvue has brought that dream to reality.































Now really why would anyone want to have these lenses?!!

Oh My Gosh!

The Big Boss called me this morning and asked me to call him back from a closed office.

When the Head Honcho says to call him from a closed office, you just know something bad is going to happen.

I called him back with my head spinning so fast trying to figure what type of disaster will it be this time.

He threw a bombshell on me. He decided that the company no longer requires the services of Maya as her CV is making the rounds in the market. Some company that got her CV called him to tell him she sent her CV. (F***ing unprofessional idiots!!)

He asked me to call her up (as she is on leave) and tell her of the decision (yes it is against the law to fire someone while on leave, but again F***ing unprofessional idiots!!!).

On hearing the order my mouth opened as wide as if I was assuming the cooperative position for a root canal.

The Big Cheese knows that Maya & I are close friends. He knows that our friendship extends beyond the boundaries of the office. Yet he asked me to do the dreadful deed! He didn’t want to wait till she comes back from leave in two days which is also when her direct supervisor will be back from his holiday and he could give her the marching orders.
No, I had to do it.

Which makes me wonder why? Is it to test my professionalism? Or was just to teach me a lesson?

My plan was to tell Maya in person so I called her and asked her to have lunch with me. She couldn’t come so I coughed it up on the phone. Maya was shocked of course. She was not sad though, as it means she doesn’t have to see certain people’s faces anymore.

I’m still in shock.

I still can’t believe that I will come to office from now on, knowing that Maya won’t be there.
Maya with her radiant look & beaming smile won’t be sitting in front of me any more.
Maya who makes me laugh all the time and whom I love to hear her hoot of a laugh will not be there to make the work day pass easier.
I know I will be seeing her and we will always be friends… but I can’t stop being sad.
I will miss my daily dose of her spunk, her zing and her wisecracks!

This is a terrible day. It’s an effort to even smile. It’s an effort to hold the tears.

Maya I’ll Miss You!

Haj Abu Ali Speaks Up

Another friend's blog.

Haitham writes about the adventures and thoughts of Haj Abu Ali. Haj Abu Ali as any comic main character, says the truth in a cynical and sarcastic way.

A little warning: Haitham’s blog could be a little addictive!

A Stranger's Blog

My sweet gal Alya finally started her own blog: Words from a Stranger

The blog showcases her Arabic writings, her drawings and of course her (not so nonsense) thoughts in English.

Alya GO GIRL!!!

It’s Tuesday Again

I don’t like Tuesdays.
They are in the middle of the week and have no distinctive character.
They are milquetoast. Kind of wishy-washy.

Tuesdays are spiritless.

If Tuesday was a man, he would be a wadded-up-thrown-away-Kleenex of a person.
You know what I mean right? Chicago’s Mr. Cellophane type?
Meek, shaky shy, rubbed so thin by life that sunlight passes through him.
The man who’d give timid lessons to a mouse.
That’s a Tuesday for me.


And it’s only 9:30 am on this Tuesday.
Oh yayayaaaaa!!! URGH!!

Sunday Child

I’m a Sunday child

And true to the old nursery rhyme… I’m bonny (at least today when I woke up I though I am pretty!), carefree (I might die any second so why worry excessively or at all?!), good (well DUH!!) and gay (I’ve already came out of the closet and I like myself better when I’m happy, and I always like myself!)

Mondays child is fair of face,
Tuesdays child is full of grace,
Wednesdays child is full of woe,
Thursdays child has far to go,
Fridays child is loving and giving,
Saturdays child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

A happy person always smiles.

I always smile. I smile for two main reasons:
1. I look better when I smile. A grin is like an instant facelift. It even twinkles the eyes.
2. I feel good when I smile. Stress hormones, believe it or not, are lowered when you smile. Nothing like a smile to lift up the spirits. And in this world we live in, I need all the lifting I can.

Of course a smile could always impact someone else’s life.

I always thought my smile cheers (those lucky lucky) people around me.

I was told recently that it is not the case.
Apparently, the impact of my smile varies. Some are cheered. Some get worried.
The worried ones seem to think it’s a sarcastic ridiculing smile. The worried think that when I smile at them I’m actually mocking them. Or at least that I know something that they don’t know and I’m laughing AT them.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (This is for the record is a mocking laugh!)

See, I believe I’m the lead actor in my own story.
These worried people must feel like they are the supporting players in one of billions of subplots. Everyone knows what happens to supporting players, right? Too often they are killed off in chapter 4 or chapter 10 or in chapter 26. Supporting players always have to be looking over their shoulders. That’s why they can’t accept a smile for what it is.

Well, even if I’m told that certain people don’t like the way I smile at them, I will continue smiling.

My smile comes spontaneously. It just means that I have a soul. I smile, then I am alive!
By smiling I don’t use up my smiles, but increase my store of it.

People who do not smile live inside themselves more than not, and they keep their doors closed. You see them mostly through the dull windows of their eyes. Smiles are free. How can it hurt you to smile at another human?

The world is full of broken people. Splints, casts, miracle drugs, and time can’t mend fractured hearts, wounded minds or torn spirits. A smile can dull the pain for a short while. Won’t you feel better when you know you your smile helped a little bit?


C’mon…you can do it. Just lift the corners of your mouth and smile.
SMILE!
After all, you never know who would fall in love with your smile today!

;)

alllllo?!

My usual telephone conversation starts like this:

(Ring Ring Riiiiiing…. I love that Sony Ericcson ring tone)

Allo…Hey…hi, how are you?...What’s up? Yeah all is good…ahaaa

(And if the caller doesn’t talk, I’m doomed!)

I hate talking on the phone (I never call people, and most probably it’s why my phone hardly ever rings!)! I hate making small idle conversation because I do not know how to do it! If I’m going to spend hours talking to a friend, why not just meet and talk!! It’s much better, more personal, more intimate and benevolent. Even stupid & rubbish talk sounds fun in person than on the phone!

Phone calls must convey a message, a quick one. I can’t dwell. I know that sometimes I sound restless and as if I just want to get rid of the person on the line. It is, unfortunately, the truth, even though I don’t mean to be rude. It’s like being on the road. I hate being on any road which is why I drive fast to reach my destination! (And you thought I drive fast cause I’m a crazy driver who lives dangerously! Ha!!)
I think people who spend long hours on the phone are one of two types: they either have nothing better to do and are bored senseless, or are in love and can’t get enough of the other person!

I could chat endlessly on MSN. But then I am online cause I have nothing better else to do, right?!!

Stick me with someone in a small room for a couple of hours with no entertainment and I can talk continuously and we would leave the room as best friends.

But put my best friend on the phone, and I can’t talk. (Except if I’m bitching of course. When I need an ear to listen to me moaning, I don’t mind if it’s stuck to a phone anywhere in the world!)

Actually I’m not a great chatter even when phones are not involved. I just don’t do small talk!
I can’t converse with anyone I come across, I can’t strike a conversation with cashiers (so where did you learn Math? Really? That’s where my second cousin girlfriend’s uncle taught?), waiters (how are you today? Oh by the way, the last tip I gave was 25% so please don’t take a leak in my plate), people I’m queuing with (yeah, for the hundredth time, this line is not moving at all), or waiting with in a doctor’s room (So, what brings you here today? Really? I had that rash few months ago!!).

It’s not that I have a problem coming up with topics needed for small talk (heck I have this blog don’t I?!!). I can talk about sports, television, fashion, poetry, music, cooking (I can make tiramisu and I consider it cooking cause I have to mix some ingredients!!), gardening (I hate plants, such nuisance, all that care you give them and they don’t even say thank you!!) and of course politics (Being anti-governments, my views could never be outdated, not with the governments always wreaking havoc and ripping off the people!)

No I don’t have issues finding a topic to talk about. I just don’t think it is necessary to talk to strangers when we meet them. I also think that if a friend wants to talk to me, that friend should just call and tell me to meet up to tell me all. Meeting is better than a long long phone call, and it gets the full attention (well maybe not if we meet in a place with so many good looking men!) and reaction required!! Plus no one can claim that you will lose your hearing for prolonged usage!!

I know I should change. I mean, I can’t meet all of my friends all the time (definitely can’t as it took me 5 months to finally get the time to meet Huda!!!). I really have to learn how to be patient on the phone or I will be losing all of my friends.

Therefore, this is my new resolution: I will call one friend a day. The call will be at least 30 minutes long.

The question is: who shall I start with?
URGH!!! This calling thing is already such a pain!!

Leave My Fries Alone!!!

(I promised Dania I’d blog about this!)


Dania picked me for lunch. Both of us are on diet. SUPPOSEDLY.
So we went to Johnny Rockets as it has been ages when we last ate there!

We promised ourselves that we will have just a salad or nothing for dinner!!

So we ordered.

I ordered the usual chicken burger and the Half & Half so that I don’t order the cheese fries.

As my side order arrived, an Iranian family of 7 came in. Most sat at the counter. The mother went around checking what each is ordering. Buzzing like a bee between them all in the small JR outlet.
Suddenly I see a finger pointing at my fries. Then it moves to my onion rings. Back to my fries and again to the rings.
That finger was closer to my Half & Half than my own finger ever was!!!
I looked up and I saw the mother pointing at MY side dish to her kids. So Dania & I look at each other and basically smiled it off.
15 seconds later I find the finger even closer to my Half & Half again, so I look up again and again the mother is still pointing at it for her kids. WTF!!!
Have they not seen something like it before??
So I say “politely”: just stop touching my food!
Dania was also getting annoyed and told her to stop poking at my food.
The finger disappears.

Three minutes later, the finger appears again. I still have not taken a bite from that plate.
I look at Dania and laugh. I remembered the Egyptian candid camera where someone sits next to you and eats your food. Only I’m not sitting next to them!
There I was just waiting for her to take a couple of fries and some rings off.
This CAN NOT be happening to me.

The finger disappears.

Two minutes later, and yes I have not touched my plate yet, the finger comes with the rest of the hand towards the plate. Picks up the plate a bit before I say:
HEY!!!
The mother’s voice comes to me: sec-uze me, please see modil?
(Don’t Secuse me!! You are making me sick & turning me off my food!!) HA?!!!

It turns out that the woman wants to show the waiter my order, so I told her the “model” is called Half & Half! After checking with me if she pronounced it again, she happily recited after me to him!!

She really didn’t see anything wrong in sticking her chubby finger into my food or taking my plate to communicate to the world around her!!

Dania & I couldn’t stop laughing. Now who thought a short guilt-full trip to JR would end up as a very funny incident, and I don’t even have to feel guilty because I didn’t eat half my food. (I like to think that I more resolved not to pig out than to think that she really turned me off my food!!)

I’m still not having dinner today!!

Prince Monk Has Left the Building

It’s been ages since I last blogged. I have not even blogged about watching Superman Returns in 3D (what a disastrous movie!!). I just don’t feel like writing any more (no I’m not quitting). Especially with what’s happening in Lebanon (Those freaking terrorizing, barbarous and evil war criminals of Zion getting away with invasion & murder and all those bastards [whoresons if my swearing is bothering you!] of the world who are freaking doing nothing at all. Yes, I’m so anti-Semitic, and I won’t be apologizing to admit it like freaking Mel Gibson, after all isn’t this a free world and I’m free to say what I want?!!!) (now breathe in and breathe out!)

This is a special blog though.

It’s to say good bye to Amir who left yesterday.
Junior, who will always be remembered for accepting my bet of AED 20 to stand up, bang on his chest and make monkey noises in the middle of the office, has left the company.

Now during the last 4 & half years I’ve been with the company I’m working in, many people came and left. And I mean MANY. (I’m the ultimate survivor.) Of those many, few I was saddened to see leave. For example, when Asif left, it was expected and I was sad to see him go, but I knew our friendship would not be affected much if we don’t kill each other on a daily basis! Manil’s leaving was shocking and unanticipated that I almost cried (ALMOST) to see him go. And now Amir has left.

Amir’s case is completely different than all.

I knew that he was leaving and I am so happy for him to escape the hell this place has become. Amir’s leaving revived my hopes of leaving this place soon. However, I envy him because he gets to leave, doesn’t have to serve his notice period & gets to just relax & have fun till he joins the new company. I’m sad though that he won’t be in (till I leave) to entertain me. (Yes I am selfish). I will miss his antics, his tolerance to the browbeating of the girls, and his monkey business.

And he couldn’t choose a worse time to leave…

Here I am…at work… all alone!!
Hoda’s on leave.
Maya’s on a business trip.
Diala’s going to see yet another doctor (this girl has the best doctor appointment excuses)
And Amir is gone (Yes we all were worried about him being one of the girls group!! But don’t worry, he is just funny!!)

How will this week pass!!! URGH!!!

Anyway…

Prince Monk… Congratulations of your escape… and hopefully the “Biatchs” are all next!!

Back to the pen

I returned to writing two weeks ago...
and when I did...
it couldn't be anything but about Lebanon...