My Tongue & I!

When I was a teenager, I was always accused of having a sharp dart of a tongue.
I plead guilty!

I still have it.
I use a blaze of words (bright enough to cause genetic mutations) as effectively as the fists of Muhammad Ali in his golden days to crack the thickest skulls, throttle the bulkiest throats, stomp the most beastly of hearts…till I hear a pleading cry for mama!

My quick wit, once unleashed, is like a steamroller on the loose, flattening everything in its way! (My honesty is admirable, right?)

However, I’m not mean. Ok, so Hodz has been repeating lately and frequently that I am a bitch. But to my credit, she says it while laughing!!

I have a talent for acerbic put-downs but they are not laced with venom.
Except if I really don’t like that person!

I’m not a snake with a tongue fluttering in anticipation of a bared-fang strike.

I use my sarcastic replies, slick humor (which could be, I admit, both inadequate and inappropriate) on my closest friends and those I feel comfortable with and who I expect I would get from them more that I give!

I am guilty of having a wise-ass attitude, which is an acquired taste!

• Hippo loves it & gives as much as she gets. She got the same sarcastic gene as I.
• Asif, Rania, Maya, Christine, Dalia & Thamer endure it. They know I don’t mean harm even when the remark sounds poisonous. Of course they feel free to say “Shut Up Bitch!!”
• Hodz is a special case. I still have not directed my dart at her, I think! But we have united few times on few people (like Humpty Dumpty & IC) and we almost compete on who would draw the first droplet of blood from the vic!
• Amir, the new kid on the block, seems to be a good punching bag. The stronger the hit, the stronger he comes back!
• Med, who once told me I should stop thinking that men are inferior than women (I don’t think men are inferior than some (certain) women. I do think, of course, that I am superior than most of the men I know. Actually, more than most), has been subjected to some warm-ups punches, and didn’t like it. At All!
• Diana, sensitive and tender, has been excluded from the beginning of our friendship. I just knew she gets bruised so quickly!

And I’m writing this post today, to promise myself that I would stop.
No, I won’t stop! I would always try to get more people involved in my verbal boxing.
However, I’ll throw one punch, if I get one back, I will continue. If I don’t, I would stop.
Promise!

This promise will plug my larynx as effectively as any cork ever stoppered a bottle!!
I will repress my sarcasm even if I heard it crawling up my voice, felt it twist my features and harden them as if a thick plaster was applied to my face to cast a life mask titled Acerbity.

Now ain’t that admirable?!!