The 100th Post! Yippy!

For my 100th post, I write a special post...

A love story... real but not really real... (It doesn't matter if you don't get it either!)


(1)
Silken Wings

A butterfly fluttered inside my being...body and soul
As my eyes lay upon you for the first time
For you,
The man who as sure I am of my love for
I am sure he will break my heart along the line
Suffering is my future! So clear as in a crystal ball
Yet I helplessly and stubbornly fly towards your shine!
For you,
I pull my silken wings, dip them in a bottle of drying ink,
To write to you, just you, the contents of a heart...
Throbbing with passion
Aching for a touch
Longing for reassurance
To write to you, just you, these long-silenced whispers!


(2)
Realization

There you stood as animated as you always are...
I looked at you from the sole window with a smile...
A sudden chill climbed the ladder of my spine...
As I finally knew...
I am in LOVE....
And I am in love with YOU!

For a moment, I felt so light that the air conditioner breeze seemed strong enough to sweep me and carry me up towards the low ceiling. I drew a series of deep breaths and weight gradually returned to me.

I knew something was a mess the second I saw you the first time. Something moved inside me. Something that never before stirred shook vigorously. However, I played the naiveté game. I thought I would win. I thought I would forget. I thought the movement would fade by itself like the ripples made by a stone in a still lake. But it did not. At that window, I faced my destiny. Looking up, you could not see me behind the blinds, yet I thought you did, and that you saw inside my soul.

I am in love. I am in love. I am in love.

I did not need to repeat it to myself. But the sound was so right. I was as ready as I could be to have a real man to love. I was fed up with all the heroes I feverishly imagined each night coming out from between the papers of my poetry. It was time to experience the joy of love as I experienced the joy of writing about it. It was time to whisper a name with tangible infatuation.


(3)
Dilemma

Now that I know...
Shall I hide it or let it show?
Shall I let my feelings free?
Or cage them deep inside me?
Hush! Be quiet my inane heart,
Love does not live with a lone side!

To love and to have my love rejected?! What a horrible thought!
Terror courted me as I stood hand in hand with the dread of being ridiculed. I could not have my heart mocked. Never!
So I silently decided to accept my doom: a life of joyless minutes, days of solitude, and nights filled with loneliness.
It was a definite matter. I love you, but you won’t be able to tell.
“I love you” will remain a whisper that resonates only inside me.


(4)
Two Way Street

A humid night, dark with no moonlight
You came to me elegantly dressed in white
With your mischievous curve of a smile
And twinkled eyes that shine from a mile
You came to make your startling declaration!
Oh how to stretch this moment of pure elation!

Suddenly the swarming surroundings emptied. The lens of fate zoomed to your face. Your eyes had the intimate shade of brown, lustrous and beautiful.
Am I fantasizing?
How could I be, and there you are in front of me saying all that is right!
A free-floating bashfulness descended at the moment, robbing me of the ability to gaze into your eyes and take full pleasure of it. Life would be easy if common sense ruled; but sometimes the easy way doesn’t feel like the right way.
Why does brain have to spoil the delights of the heart?
Too rattled by your unexpected confession I couldn’t think of a witty reply. Of any reply at all. Happiness, quiet but as heavy as lead, pressed my voice so thin.
I have to think. I have to think and weigh my hopes and fears and then decide.
Until then the whisper will remain under my breath.


(5)
Anxiety

To love and be loved! What a stupendous sensation!
Oh what a horrible agitation,
When burdened with perturbation!
Is your love genuine?
Or am I the flavor of this month?
Is it a transient lust?
Are you a man I could trust?
Or will I be the next acquisition you shatter in abomination?

A gloomy gray mist of fear churned across the sea of my soul. A cold boiling fog arose from the darkest corner in me, spreading through my mind, clouding my thoughts, increasing my confusion. And with greater confusion came greater terror from love!
“I am loveable!”, I tried to convince myself.
“His feelings are earnest”, I repeated frequently to calm my worries.
Nevertheless, these senseless fears infected me, swarmed in my blood, bred in my bones, crawled through my mind, and I was getting sicker with every beat!

“Please do not toy with me!” was the only whisper pleading through the darkness of the night hoping it is heard!


(6)
Agony

The magnificence of love, the hideousness of suspicion
The torment of restrain, the pleasure of submission!
Torn by a phobia of pain,
Weakened by the desire for affectionate exhibition
I skittered like fallen leaves,
Along the bitter pavement of supposition!

In a dark territory of my mind that I’d never traveled before, I found a twisted landscape of skepticism. Can I jump into the Pacific of love, fight the oceanic tides, swim to the safety of the beach of happiness and live with you on our island of joy?
I know I am ready, but are you? Or will you let me jump, and then drown!
The paranoia of having my heart fiddled with, betrayed, broken and smashed, clawed the beauty of falling in love for the first time. A feral terror of anguish darkened the rosy moments into a bruised purple.
I have to trust your love, your sparkling eyes, your alluring smile, your entrancing voice, and give it a try.
I will imprison my fears and try to surrender to the powers of passion.
A prayer whisper flew from between my lips as I steeled myself for the ordeal ahead!


(7)
Doom

I should have trusted my instinct.
I should have stayed away.

I should have resisted.

Instead of walking around now…broken, crushed & half dead!

Urgh Touchy!

The dork Bush is becoming Touchy!

Touchy not as in sensitive. I don’t think this guy has one ounce of any sensitivity or feeling!

But rather touchy as in the Clinton’s way!

Ok, may be not that close!

But the look on Hu Jintao suggests that he would go scrubbing himself till he bleeds after his meeting with Bush!

Here…judge by yourself!

















But really....what was Bush thinking?!!!
Sorry! I know....he doesn't think!
But really (again)... what is wrong with this man?!!!


Actually...what is wrong with the American people?!
We don't have a choice! The Stupid rules us and we don't have a say in it!
But they GET TO VOTE FOR THE STUPID to rule!!!

URGH!!!

Just Shut Up!

The crown prince of Saudi Arabia, Prince Sultan said today: “We are against nuclear weapons and its proliferation. It is enough that big powers have them (nuclear capability) to protect the world and defend themselves.”



“Prince” Sultan, haven’t you heard: “It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”


Next time… JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!

The Fifty First State!

In the early 1990’s, Kuwait was dubbed the second district of the United States of America. The first being of course the District of Columbia.

Now, the flag of the US should be changed. It should include the 51 state that is taking shape in Iraq!

In the heart of Iraq, in the so called safe green zone, an American state is being built. It will be as large the Vatican City, and has the population of a small American town. It will be independent with its own Police & Army, and its own power & water supplies. Of course it will have also all the recreational facilities needed. It will be called the US Embasssy! And it will be just the LARGEST in the world! Built over 104 acres, the state will be six times larger than the United Nations compound in New York, and two-thirds the acreage of Washington's National Mall!


- So, why does the US need such large and indpendent state in the heart of Baghdad?
- Well, doesn’t the “government” usually have its offices in the capital and execrise its powere from there?!! Not to mention that the capital is also the headquarters of the biggest business corporates. I mean, the American oil companies would need a city to have their representative offices in, right?!




Am I the only who can see this invasion?

Ice Age 2!

Last night, I took the kids (Joud, Wed & Bader) along with Hiba to watch Ice Age 2, the meltdown.

IT IS A MUST SEE!!

I love Sid. He is stupid but in an endearing way.
Diego is of course just gorgeous.
While Manny reminds me of many Men!! I’m not sure if that’s good or bad!!

Ellie, the mammoth with identity crisis, and her brothers Crash & Eddie were great additions.

Of course my favourite character is the squirrel and his life long struggle to get the nut. The creators have thought of every possible way to torture the poor animal! I’m looking forward to see ICE AGE 3 just to see what would they think of next!!

If you haven’t seen ICE AGE 2 till now….what are you waiting for??

I hate April!

April is the worst month for me, financially!

It starts with Hiba’s birthday on the 9th.
Then Rania’s on the 10th.
Then Wed’s on the 14th.
Then Aminah’s on the 18th.
And to make it even worse, Haifa shares the same birth date with Aminah!!!

Since Hiba joined the Twenties her gift had to be something special!! Special translates into a dent in my bank account!

And I ran out of ideas for Rania’s gift! It's so difficult to buy something for your close friend when she has a different taste than you and you know she would end up excahnging whatever you buy her!! Voucher was the only solution, so I ended giving her a voucher for Cleopatra spa.

Now I have to write about Rania’s birthday, cause Maya said I need to post about it!!!

Ghizlan & I decided to plan a surprise lunch for Rania. Her birthday this year fell on the same day as the Prophet’s birthday, and we were all off. We told her that we two are taking her for a long lunch, while we called the gang and told them to be at the restaurant before she shows up. That was the hardest part. Hauling the asses of these women at the agreed time! The last one showed up literally one minute before Rania!

Needless to say, Rania was happily surprised.

Now Maya didn’t want to me to post about this. Maya wanted me to post about what happened! All I could say is that after a couple of jugs of Margarita (Virgin! And Yes I’m Positive as the Bar was Closed for the occasion of the Prophet’s Day) we started drumming on the table, and then singing….and recording our live karaoke on my mobile as ring tones for each of the “ladies”, while Aminah did some mobile-filiming!

It was a fun lunch! Luckily we were not kicked out as we provided live entertainment for the other restaurant goers!! Oh and Maya was not with us!

Good Night and Good Luck

Aminah, Jassem & I went to see a movie. Since we couldn’t decide on any one movie, we agreed to watch the movie that won the Oscar. We knew nothing about the movie but what the poster said, but you really can’t go wrong with that option, can you?

Apparently you can.

Five minutes after the movie started, we discovered that color will not make an appearance, and that it is a BLACK and WHITE movie!!

Twenty minutes later, Jassem was already getting bored and started to get fidgety. Ten minutes later he excused himself and went to get water and came back after another 10 minutes. At the end of the movie, Jassem asked what was it all about. Need I say more?

To be honest, I liked the movie. Go and watch it alone or if you go with intellectual crowd who don’t need action to enthrall them! It's a classic, with classic acting. And definitely refreshingly different.