TWISTED INTELLIGENCE

Ever got the same forwarded email from different people during a very short period of time?

Well...

It happens frequently to me…

And I have a problem with two of them!

A problem as in they really piss me off!



The First One:

MJ has become a Muslim! Listen To Him Sing This Lovely Song!
The lyrics
would also be included in the text of the email!

URGH!
Why would any sane person want this crazy Jackson to be a Muslim?!
Being a fan of Zain Bhika, it annoys me that people mistake him for MJ. Zain, a South African Islamic Singer, has a very famous religious Album with Yousef Islam called A for Allah as well as a few more albums. I love his songs.

Each time I get this email, I reply to the sender correcting their information. Yes I don’t get tired of telling everyone about Zain!



The Second One:

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went
into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is
mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."


Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.




Male readers: Please scroll down.








The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

Seriously URGH!!! Men sometimes are so simple!

This is my reply to this forward:

You know how men make a mole of a mountain? You know how they whine and whimper if the have a simple headache?

Well... I envision this scenario if these wishes came true:

The man, who looks great and is the richest man ever, will have moew than few mistresses and lots of one night stands..
When he gets this mildest heart attack...he would PANIC, he’d think he’ll lose all the money and the women... after all, to him, life has just began
Of course he would go and spend lots of money to find out the reason behind the attack.... he would believe of course that men doctors are the best…and of course the men doctors would not find the cause behind this sudden mild but worrying heart attack
So they will make him undergo more check ups (money is not an issue after all)... and they will diagnose him with cancer!
He would get worried... but he will take all cancer treatments available
Meanwhile, the women in his life (mistresses and one nights) would be demanding money to keep silent and not go to the tabloids to tell all about this Richest Adonis adventures with them... they will continue blackmailing him of course, they still have the pictures and the videos!

Because of the treatments, he will lose weight, lose his hair, look frail and pale...
He will also be very depressed and worried...so all looks would go...he would have black sagging eyes...
His sex appeal will diminish
After spending all that money on treatments... the Men doctors will discover that they have misdiagnosed him and there is really nothing wrong with him at all

He gets excited...already planning the party he will throw..

And that's when his wife, who stood silent beside him throughout his ordeal, slams him with the divorce papers, asking for half whatever money remaining with him as he was cheating on her
And then she goes on Oprah, cries and tells the world about how she, who was behind his wealth & good looks, stood by him during his sickness and worrying days and during all that time he was double/triple/quadruple/etc timing her,
Then she writes the next best seller non-fiction book....which would become an Oscar winning film

All in all... she would be 10 times richer... 10 times more attractive (she looked so sweet and vulnerable when she cried on Oprah!)... and she would be 10 times liked and adored by the whole world! (The New Princess Diana!)





And men think they are smarter!! HA! No one stands a chance against a screwed woman!




Next time you send me a forward, make sure it is nothing that pisses me off!


Without wax!