How Thin Is Your Waist

I’m working very hard to stick to my new diet that I started last week and which I already restarted few times.

I’m also motivating myself every day to exercise for at least half an hour.

So far no result is apparent! (What a surprise)

And then today I get these pictures:







To my knowledge these pictures are real!


And if they are real… I wonder… if they dissected her… would her anatomy be similar to the rest of the human beings?
Where would be her pancreas? Her liver? Her stomach? Both Kidneys??

Seemed that they descended to her (as Ghizlan eloquently put it) a$$!!!

Oh yes, I’d rather have my organs in the correct abdominal cavity than a thin waist!
Forget the diet...Where is that chocolate bar?!

TWISTED INTELLIGENCE

Ever got the same forwarded email from different people during a very short period of time?

Well...

It happens frequently to me…

And I have a problem with two of them!

A problem as in they really piss me off!



The First One:

MJ has become a Muslim! Listen To Him Sing This Lovely Song!
The lyrics
would also be included in the text of the email!

URGH!
Why would any sane person want this crazy Jackson to be a Muslim?!
Being a fan of Zain Bhika, it annoys me that people mistake him for MJ. Zain, a South African Islamic Singer, has a very famous religious Album with Yousef Islam called A for Allah as well as a few more albums. I love his songs.

Each time I get this email, I reply to the sender correcting their information. Yes I don’t get tired of telling everyone about Zain!



The Second One:

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went
into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is
mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."


Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.




Male readers: Please scroll down.








The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

Seriously URGH!!! Men sometimes are so simple!

This is my reply to this forward:

You know how men make a mole of a mountain? You know how they whine and whimper if the have a simple headache?

Well... I envision this scenario if these wishes came true:

The man, who looks great and is the richest man ever, will have moew than few mistresses and lots of one night stands..
When he gets this mildest heart attack...he would PANIC, he’d think he’ll lose all the money and the women... after all, to him, life has just began
Of course he would go and spend lots of money to find out the reason behind the attack.... he would believe of course that men doctors are the best…and of course the men doctors would not find the cause behind this sudden mild but worrying heart attack
So they will make him undergo more check ups (money is not an issue after all)... and they will diagnose him with cancer!
He would get worried... but he will take all cancer treatments available
Meanwhile, the women in his life (mistresses and one nights) would be demanding money to keep silent and not go to the tabloids to tell all about this Richest Adonis adventures with them... they will continue blackmailing him of course, they still have the pictures and the videos!

Because of the treatments, he will lose weight, lose his hair, look frail and pale...
He will also be very depressed and worried...so all looks would go...he would have black sagging eyes...
His sex appeal will diminish
After spending all that money on treatments... the Men doctors will discover that they have misdiagnosed him and there is really nothing wrong with him at all

He gets excited...already planning the party he will throw..

And that's when his wife, who stood silent beside him throughout his ordeal, slams him with the divorce papers, asking for half whatever money remaining with him as he was cheating on her
And then she goes on Oprah, cries and tells the world about how she, who was behind his wealth & good looks, stood by him during his sickness and worrying days and during all that time he was double/triple/quadruple/etc timing her,
Then she writes the next best seller non-fiction book....which would become an Oscar winning film

All in all... she would be 10 times richer... 10 times more attractive (she looked so sweet and vulnerable when she cried on Oprah!)... and she would be 10 times liked and adored by the whole world! (The New Princess Diana!)





And men think they are smarter!! HA! No one stands a chance against a screwed woman!




Next time you send me a forward, make sure it is nothing that pisses me off!


Without wax!

R A I N !!!

I am very pleased to announce that it is RAINING in Dubai at the moment.

And I mean real rain.

Pouring Rain!

With Thunder & Lightening!

VERY Heavy Clouds! Morning Looks Like Night!
















The Air Smell of Rain!

LOVELY!

I Hope It Continues Till I Leave Work…. (another 9 hours of rain will halt the activity in Dubai, especially Traffic!!)

I Want To Dance In The Rain!!

I'm singing in the rain
Just singin' in the rain
What a glorious feeling
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love

Romeo in Tights!

No I don’t mean my cat Romeo, who could do with some TLC.

To scuffle the depressing lonely thoughts after Valentine’s Day, I & the Girls (Ghizlan, Rannoush, Dania, Maya & Rachel) went to see a Romantic ballet play by a Russian group. (Can’t remember what they were called nor can I find the tickets to cheat!)

We went to see the last show of Romeo & Juliet in Madinat Jumeira on Friday. Now as usual, we agreed to meet an hour before the start of the show o catch up with each other. Of course as usual, none of us was there on time and we ended meeting just five minutes before the final call.

As we were heading in, I told the Girls about Men In Tights. My sis, Nana, was telling me before I leave that I shouldn’t go and see naked men, so I told her “It’s ok, I would be looking from the navel up!!” None of the Girls thought about the spandex before coming. The main thought was: “here I am, attending a romantic outing, with my gals, few days after an uneventful Valentine!!” After hearing my story, they kept staring at the brochure, exclaiming their shock with loud laughter!

And then the lights went off, the music started and the curtains pulled open.
































When the curtains closed after 45 minutes, Maya looked at me and asked me: “so which one was Romeo?”
I couldn’t restrain the roar of my laugh!
The laugh turned into silent bewilderment when I learned that it took the rest of the Girls 10-15 minutes to figure out who Romeo was!!!
Apparently, when the opening act was played, I was the only one concentrating on the faces of the characters and their multi-colored shirts. The Girls were concentrating on the coordinated “tights”!!! Therefore they got confused between the tall blonde in a blue shirt (Romeo, who had his picture in the brochure that each was holding before the start of the show) and the tall blonde in a white shirt (Paris, Juliet’s suitor, who looked mean!)

During the interval, all pose and etiquettes were lost, as some of the Girls (I’m not naming Ghiz or Rannoush) sneaked food back into the theater. Cinnamon bun and corn in the cup smells emanated from our VIP seats in the fourth row!
To be fair, 6 single girls, attending a play of the most famous love story in the world, have all right to indulge in comfort food!!!


I enjoyed the play. The ballet was fascinating and luckily was not overdone! I particularly enjoyed the character of Mercutio and was disappointed when he died as it signaled the end of the fun part and the beginning of the depressing boring part!

All in all, I’m glad I went to see it. It was different!

To Burn or Not To Burn

And the saga continues…

I received an email from David commenting on my post. Fair play means I post it as is (apologies in advance for not censoring it!):

I will not jump into this debate as it will take forever and will not lead to
anything. But it is certainly a JUNKyard. But you are welcome to write even
more shit about me, my people, country, region and
religion.

I may disagree with what you have to say, but I
shall defend, to the death, your right to say it. //Voltaire

When I first read the reply, I thought “Cool, I always knew I had a talent, and approving the name of my blog is just another proof”, then I thought “LOL, so facts are considered crap nowadays?” I didn’t respond to David as I was busy, and anyway I saw the email 3 days after he sent it. Cold stuff by then.

Then he sent me another email yesterday:

My local friend's comments on the issue..

http://rosetta2006.blogspot.com/2006/01/denmark-vs-islamic-world_113865837566766360.html

http://rosetta2006.blogspot.com/2006/02/those-blasted-cartoons.html

I opened the first link but didn’t read it, as I was extremely busy. I did reply though, after all it’s the least I could do:

Cool, I'll read it when I have time later on today...though I thought you
wouldn't discuss this any further with me :) Or did someone finally whisper to
you that I was joking about the burning and you no longer think I'll drowse you
with gas and light you up? Or is this the Voltaire "I shall defend, to the
death, your right to say it" :))

Here's what Frisk (British) has to
say about the matter (Oh and did you know that that same Danish newspaper
refused to publish cartoons of Jesus {not that I am with that} a couple of years
ago because they worried it will hurt the feelings of many readers? I'd say this
is an evidence of the papers' double standards, wouldn't you?)

Robert Fisk: Don't be fooled, this isn't an issue of Islam versus secularism
(If you can’t access the link, or you want the full article,
please email me and I will email it to you)

Which David replied back saying in very short words:

Crap article. I will not discuss.

Oh well! But don’t come back to me with more Articles, because I don’t want to seem obsessed with this issue more than I am already accused of!


Then came the comments! WOW!! I never had so many comments on a post before! And NOT all from Hippo or Asif!!

Abbas -1

Take it easy on David!! He's the coolest

Man I have to give David his "Family Man" dvd’s back cause I think he needs to laugh a bit and remember that other people can joke too! And I have never said anything against David, after all I do work with him and he is one of the closest colleagues to me. :) But since you are his friend, think of this scenario: You joke with D, he goes to another friend and talks about you negatively instead of facing you and telling you either he doesn’t get your humor or doesn’t appreciate it. How would you feel? I don’t think you would laugh it off as I did.


Hippo – 1

That was my free thought!!

Girl… I love you! You are so animated and I love it when you get pi$$ed about these issues. Makes me want to say “Go Girl!”!


Abbas – 2

Confused people, arent the both of you?

The power of words!
See Abbas why I’m with freedom of speech with conditions? Look how upset you became from Hippo’s comment. You started judging people you don’t know, and making assumptions about their intentions and BELIEVING these assumptions! I won’t stereotype you with any group, but is this the way YOU listen, communicate and deal in your life? What a Shame.
Haven’t you read somewhere, seeing is believing? They don’t even take hearsay in courts as evidence. If you can’t believe that I was joking, that’s ok. But then better watch your back; I heard fire spreads over close objects! Don’t take my word for it of course, I haven’t seen it. Yet!

you are under 22 years of age, and therefore immature anyway.

When did Age was proportional to Maturity? And if you wanted to take the age factor, you might want to consider the gender factor too. Don’t they say that women mature faster than men? So I’d say Hippo, who is still in her teens, is as mature as a 25 old man, if we are lucky! That should be fair enough!


Hippo – 2

Did I say I love you? Deep stuff girl. And the sarcasm, wow, we definitely have so many things in common!! Not many people get it, but then not all have your high IQ, or mine of course. I think if they put us two in one team, add a couple of us more, then we can BURN the world! Scary eh? We Are the new mass destruction weapon! Yippy!


Anonymous

If muslims like yourself worked on chilling out

CAPITALS ARE NOT NECESSARY shouting! I know they are used sometimes as shouting in the online world, but it could be used to emphasize words. So don't take things at face value. If you think she is screaming there, you should see her when she really scream! She was EMPHASIZING!
I agree Hippo is hyper, but if we Muslims did not get upset and hyper about our own Prophet, who would? Not the “Muslim” chilling at the bar of course! Nor that “Muslim” debating the limits of freedom of expression while walloping yet another glass of alcohol? Westerners can't grasp the importance of the Prophet to the Muslims, nor can you it seems, and so you wouldn't understand why any of us (Muslims) get so "hyper". Oh and just in case you are wondering, It's definitely not because of any withdrawal effect from not consuming any Danish products!

Think of it this way: if someone killed your mother (and just in case, you turn to be a psychopath who loathed his/her mother) or someone VERY dear to you, would you CHILL and DEBATE capital punishment? Or would you GO HYPER about it?
But then, maybe no one is dear enough to you and you are already against capital punishment and this scenario is pointless to you!
Oh well!


Shouldn't you have gotten married at 14 or something?

Yeah… that’s when Muslim girls get married and that is also when Westerner girls get pregnant, without marriage, and give birth to the bastards roaming the streets. Urgh! What an idiotic thing to say to Hippo. Haven’t you read somewhere, don’t throw stones at others when your house is made from glass!


Tarik & 7sain

Guys… sa7 lisankom!





And… off I go… to do my bit at work!

Remember… Anyone But Mohammad Peace Be Upon Him!

My Swedish Colleague Believes I Will Burn Him Alive!

Jeehan the Terrorist!

Let me begin from the start, as in when the issue of the Danish cartoons depicting the prophet (peace be upon him) suddenly jumped to the first page of all newspapers! David, my Swedish colleague (yes the one who gave me The Family Guy DVDs to watch), started discussing “the issue” with me last week. David, an Atheist, wanted to discuss freedom of speech and religious icons. To him, freedom of expression means freedom to say anything, regardless if you hurt or upset anyone and even if you ridicule religious beliefs and symbols . Freedom, of course to him, translates into no limits.
On the other side, I believe in freedom of speech but under one condition: stay respectful of other feelings, especially the religious ones. I also believe that if you endorse freedom of expression, you should endorse it against ALL topics.

For a couple of days, David would start the day by asking me about my opinion on the latest escalated response of the Muslim world.

I was vocal with not few people, including David, on what I think about what’s happening.

I love the prophet (peace be upon him) and I condemn the cartoons and many others things, and that’s why I am boycotting both the Danish and the Norwegian products and plan to boycott many other European products if needed. I also condemn the burning of the flags, the death threats and the burning of buildings. Violence never helped a cause; it just turns the criminals into victims.

In one of our discussions, David claimed that the Swedes will never get involved in this escalating issue as they are a very peaceful and easy-going nation. Yesterday, I learnt that some Swedish publication has not published the offending cartoons but started their own competition to get new cartoons in! I sent the link to David and another discussion started. As I thought that conversation was light-hearted, I started to joke with David, so I warned him that I will burn him now that the Swedes are in the mess. We continued for few more minutes and then the chat ended.

I believe now that working with someone for eight months does not mean that this person would know when you joke or not. Especially if they come from a different culture and have predetermined views about your own culture and beliefs. You see poor David thought that the threat was for real! He told another colleague that I am getting obsessed about these cartoons and the extremist in me has come to surface as I threatened to burn him alive for the fault of a publication which happened to have the same nationality as his.
(Hmmm...Anyone has a lighter??)

The funny part in all of this is that while I am being called the obsessed with these cartoons, I am the one who got an email today from David about a European article commenting about the cartoons and the Muslim world. Is it an obsession that you actually read the newspapers and that’s the main piece of news in them? Or maybe because I am a practicing Muslim that I am immediately labeled as an obsessed and naturally a terrorist!

The culture and civilization clash will always continue. Most Westerners (notice I didn’t say the Christians!) will always think that the Muslims (again notice I said Muslims as Islam is a way of living not just a religion!) especially those devout, to be ignorant, violent (look at the burning of flags!), stern, rigid, and oppressed. Most Muslims, on the other hand, will always think of the Westerners to be ignorant, violent (look at the American wars!), self-centered, obnoxious, immoral, and closet-bigot.

Then not all are that way of course. I have many good friends from the West. The relationships work because we are free to tell each other anything and everything but then we RESPECT each other opinions and do not intentionally or non-intentionally, using the freedom of expression that we have together, hurt each other’s feelings.

In my (humble) opinion, it seems that the Westerners who are "standing up" for freedom of expression, can not fathom that for Muslims, the Prophet is the man who received divine words directly from God. We do not see him as they see “their” prophets as some historical figures who do not fit with the new advanced world. We Muslims live our religion. They do not, and have lost their faith over the centuries. The Westerners think they can do the same to other religions and they don’t understand why they are not allowed to make fun of the prophet (peace be upon him).


So World, If You Find David’s Body Burnt Till No Flesh Is Left, Don’t Blame Me Except If You Have A Video Of Me In The Act. Beware I Watch LOTS Of CSI’s! (That’s Crime Scene Investigation for those who don’t know!!)


Lesson to learn: Joke with people who have your sense of humor! Otherwise it’s just wasted!


Is There Really Freedom Of Expression??

You know what bugs me most about this Danish Cartoons issue. It’s not the topic of the cartoons. Yes of course I am upset about the derogatory drawings. And yes I am upset because I think the reaction in other European countries was simply to enrage the Muslim masses, like bullfighters goading a bull.
But what upsets me the most is the double-standards these European countries live. They are for freedom of speech and expression when the issue is about Islam. But what do they do when it is about Israel? Hide their heads in deep sand like ostriches!

“Oh No! Not the Zionist Conspiracy!!”

Well… I have facts to support that in Europe you can feel free to express your Anti-Islam feelings but you can NOT be Anti-Israel!

FACT ONE:

In December 1978 and January 1979, Robert Faurisson, a French professor of literature at the University of Lyon, published two letters in Le Monde claiming that the gas chambers used by the Nazis to exterminate the Jews did not exist. World War III almost erupted then!

After publishing, Faurisson was assaulted by Jewish students. His classes were suspended on the grounds that the university could not guarantee his safety. As a result of a TV interview, he was found guilty of defamation and incitement to racial hatred and given a suspended 3-month prison term, and a 21,000-franc fine. In addition he was ordered to pay for the reproduction of the judgment in national newspapers and television. Lets just say that was NOT cheap! He won the appeal against that. In 1989, Faurisson was severely beaten and suffered a broken jaw, broken ribs, and head injuries.

FACT TWO:

Roger Garaudy aka Ragaa is a French Muslim (convert in 1982) thinker from a strong communist background. In 1998, a French court found him guilty of Holocaust denial and racial defamation, fining him FF 120,000 ($40,000) for his 1995 book, "The Founding Myths of Israeli Politics". The book declared that during the Holocaust, Jews were not killed in gas chambers.

FACT THREE:

Ahmed Rami, a Swedish Moroccan, has written and published four books. In these he gives convincing reasons for his opinion that in Sweden - as well as everywhere else in the West - the bases of national life are undermined. He is also the founder of Radio Islam. A few years ago, Rami was prosecuted for antisemitism and sentenced to prison, where he had to stay for six months. Curiously enough he has turned out to be the only political prisoner in Sweden.

FACT FOUR:

Alain Ménargues – vice-director of Radio France International – published his book “Le mur de Sharon” (“Sharon’s Wall”) in October 2004. He immediately found himself caught in an irrational saga. He was accused of “anti-Semitism” and was dismissed from his functions. Alain Ménargues remained on his stand saying later in an interview that he has invented nothing and that the Jewish State of Israel is considered legally racist by the United Nations.



I could go on and on…

But I think you can do your own research now!

Next time you fight for freedom of expression, ask yourself if you REALLY believe and stand with it in all cases and if your country does that way too!!



Lesson to Learn: Wear a Yarmulka And Then Burn David!


Now remember... don't play with matches! ;)

Back To Cinema

It’s been ages since I went to the movie theaters. Or it seems that it has been ages. Everything seems like ages these days. It has been ages since I saw Christine and Hoda. It’s been ages since I spoke to Asif or Manil and many others!!

Anyway, so I was back at the theaters on Saturday. I went with Dania, who I haven’t seen for ages too!
And we picked to watch The Constant Gardener (Ralph Fiennes & Rachel Weisz). I think we were out of our minds!
The Movie was not bad. It was very good. It just was extremely depressing and upsetting. We came out wanting to go to any UN organization, enroll immediately and go to Africa! Then I remembered the scenes with the garbage and litter everywhere and I thought hmmm maybe just help from the comfort and cleanness of Dubai!

My rating: Go see it! Just take with you LOADS of comfort food!


When I came back from work on Sunday, and on a sudden whim, Hiba and I decided to go and watch a movie! Just like that! Since it was on impulse and we were in old jeans and tops (especially me!!), we went to the emptiest place we could think of: Ibn Battota mall! Once there, we were faced by choosing between watching The Man or Cheaper By The Dozen 2. The Jews movie one, as Ashton Kutcher was not in the sequel of Cheaper by the Dozen.

Of course and as usual, Hiba and I had to fight with someone. This time was with a Russian w**re as Hiba called her who jumped the line at the confectionary stand. Mind you, Hiba didn’t call her that immediately, she only resorted to that after my talking to her politely at first, then shouting in her ear that she is rude who wouldn’t dare do this in her country and that she should go back there and complaining to the manager because the salesperson helped her. I repeated So Rude while Hiba repeated "the truth" for few times. It put us in a good mood for the movie!

The Man (Eugene Levy & Samuel L. Jackson) turned out to be a pleasant surprise. It was funny! Not White Chicks funny of course, but funny! Sometimes the punch lines were expected, but I’m not complaining!

My rating: Go watch it if you are not into Science Fiction movies which are all over the theater and you want something to laugh at!