Zane in Dubai

Zane, my niece (the third among all the nieces and nephews I have), is in Dubai for the first time ever!!
As a family we have waited for so long for this to happen. We are still waiting for Dahman, my nephew and Zane’s brother, to come here too soon inshallah.

Since Zane’s coming is a big occasion, I took the day off.

Most of the details of yesterday’s events are in Hiba’s blog


The Limo Was Amazing!
















I Agree with Hiba…NO KIDS SHOULD BE ALLOWED ON BOARD!
Singing loudly the usual family mix of half songs, I had to screech and scream at the kids to watch my shoes. I wouldn’t care if they stepped on my feet, but those shoes are expensive!!!

It was funny how we were acting very sophisticated when we stepped off the limo in front of home and how primal we were, fighting to sit behind the steering wheel of a parked limo, once we knew we can!!



While Hiba and the rest of the family went to catch up on sleep, I, Bassam (my brother and Zane’s father), and Issa (brother in law and father of Joud and Wed) went to roam the streets!
It was my day off and I didn’t plan to spend it sleeping!! No way!
After running some errands, the boys and I went to Wafi Centre. Bassam hasn’t been in it yet and he wanted to buy a nice smart shirt.
I never was with the boys alone before. Bassam and Issa go back to the University years in the US. Somehow, they felt they were back to those days and Bassam started to go CRAZY. Crazy as in:

• tripping in front of lovely women.
• chatting up ugly women.
• dancing to the music in the middle of the mall.
• walking in a funny way copying anyone in particular.

It was FUN!

What was NOT fun was the fact that both guys were interested in the interiors of shops rather than the clothes. They’d point at a window and exclaim “Now That’s Nice”, eager to finish this unsuccessful trip of shopping, I’d ask what, and they’d tell me the hangers, the shelves, the floor, or the freaking décor is nice!
Of course we left empty handed!!


We went back home and picked Hiba and went to Ibn Battota Mall. Again Bassam was not successful. I was! I bought a top that I, well, didn’t really need but was LOVELY and wore to the Indian restaurant!

Hiba forgot to mention that just the night before, we watched Russell Peters and throughout the whole dinner, we were remembering the punch lines and cracking jokes about “brown” people.

The food was very spicy. It made me think about something.
Why does India need a nuclear bomb? (alert some racist remarks to come!)

All they need is this:

• A huge room with one door, no windows, and one wall that looks like a funnel.
• The funnel is attached to a tube which is attached to a cannon ball (or bullet or bomb or whatever it is called) maker.
• This cannon ball would have 2 spheres of course. One sphere is of dynamite or gun powder or whatever used in bombs. The other would be filled by what’s coming out of the funnel.
• Open the door to the room, fill it with spicy Indian food and Indian workers and close the door.
• In an hour, you would literally see red and green gasses passing through the funnel into the tube and getting packaged into the cannon balls.
• Don’t test the new weapon! It’s lethal! TRUST ME!
  

Remember…
Don’t mix Indian food, Indian music, full Balfaqaih family and happy occasion… we become shameless!!

Bal What?!!

I always get lots of comments about the difficulty of my last name.

In Arabic, my last name consists of only of six letters. Its quiet easy to pronounce and is well known.

In English, it’s a nightmare to pronounce to most westerners or non Arabs. Balfaqaih.

I had people pronouncing it in many different ways. Bulfake. Balfeih. Balfuky. And as you can imagine, it just goes downhill from there.

It never really mattered to me. While living in the west, people were never able to say my first name properly. I mean what’s difficult in Jeehan?!! But then, you should already know what I think of those people.

Any way, today I got a call from a lady asking for a media interview. She started the conversation with “Hello, I’m sorry I can’t pronounce your last name Ms?”. I told her to relax and call me with my first name. I later on asked her to send me an email about the issue and I’ll get back to her.

I got the email.

Her last name is: Hadjieleftheriou

*(&)*^%$^%@#$%%^
And she is complaining about MY family name??

Two Weeks in a Post

I’ve been super busy the last two weeks that I am totally exhausted both mentally and physically. But there are many things that happened that needs to be blogged about! So this is the summary!


The Tajweed

I’m learning how to read Quraan properly. I meet with few ladies once a week and it’s FUN. If you want to laugh, just meet with Egyptian women with sense of humor. Learning was never this good! Especially that I can pronounce better than them!! LOL.


Mixed Signals

I was getting confused by someone’s interest in me. My best two friends, Rania and Asif, thought that I was simply mean, nasty, arrogant, stubborn and simply don’t know what is good for me. At the rate they were going, you’d swear they were my parents who want to get rid of me. I used to tell them that they are misunderstanding the signals, that there is no interest. After all, I’m not Charlize Theron. Again, they’d swear at me.
So I devised a plan to clear the chaos of signals. It was called operating “Opening the Door”.
Bad name!
The door slammed into my face that I’m still bruised!
Looking at the bright side (the one not bruised), both Asif and Rania apologized and confessed that I was right, and there was definitely No Interest!


Barbie Q

Ghizlan invited the Girls for a BBQ on a Friday. Since she insisted that we shouldn’t bring anything and all the others were talking about bringing sweets, I thought I would be different!
I was up at 7 am and downloaded some fun recipes off the net to make grilled corn, potato wedges and tomato halves. Of course I didn’t wake up early just for that. I had to finish some work (way after their deadlines) so that I can have the time later in the day to go to a local wedding (just to placate my mom).
When my dad saw me reading a recipe for corn on the cub, he believed without any doubt that I’m useless in the kitchen. I defended myself saying this not just grilling corn, it’s an art. Yeah. Whatever.
After a couple of hours at Ghizlan’s, I asked her when we will start barbequing. She told me that her mom has already started.
To my disappointment, her mom started with the meat and left my stuff for later on. By the time the hungry lionesses I was with gobbled the grilled meat, whatever I served, was simply too late. Not to mention that the wedges never made it to the table as they were going to take forever to be grilled on the dying coal.
For a moment there I thought I was as clueless and hopeless as Barbie (more probably Fulla!) on the grill. I should stick to what I know best: ordering food!


Test Drive Becomes a Hobby!

I went back to Porsche.
Aminah came with me this time.
I got into the Cayman S, as the salesperson told me that he is getting one himself.
I could feel the power just holding the steering wheel.
The minute I hit the road, Aminah kept telling me to slow down. Not that I actually sped with all the traffic. But the urge to change lanes and go faster was so strong and overwhelming that I told her to not very politely to shut up.
I reached Emirates Mall and stopped the car. I told her she HAS to try driving it.
Aminah is not into sports car. She loves BIG SUV’s. Her dream car is the Hummer.
She drove us back to the showroom. During the drive, she became a convert. She now wants a sports car! And like me, the urge to change lanes was powerful.

Oh and we got attention from lots of cars, including a Bentley Continental GTC! AAAAAH!

When I saw the salesman again, I told him I loved the car. That’s when he broke the bad news to me. They have reached their quota for 2006. I can’t get any Cayman now and have to wait for 2007!! I mean, man, I was ready with the full amount in CASH in my purse and he tells me I can’t get it now!! Darn!! LOL!

While thinking seriously about ordering the 2007 Cayman S, as now I might have the chance to start saving for the down payment, we took the Cayenne S for a spin!

Now Cayenne S is a real Luxury SUV. Aminah drove it first then I took it back to the showroom. It was LOVELY, but in a very mature way. It is a car for my parents, not for two young attractive girls!

From now on, all gifts should be CASH only and I also accept all donations for the worthy and noble cause of me owning a Cayman S. The bigger the donation, the bigger the picture I send you of me in the car! :)


No More Manil!

Manil is no longer working with the company starting last Wednesday. I think it was one of the saddest days in my professional life. It’s a great loss. He is funny, smart, a proper gentleman, and a friend you wouldn’t want to lose. He was the one I moaned to, joked freely with, and yet respected his knowledge and work ethics. Having to come to work the second day, knowing that he won’t be in the office was simply depressing.
Manil (if you are reading) you are missed greatly and not just because you actually bring what I need from London!!!






Till my next blog…which I promise will be soon…

Without Wax!
J

Porsche & I!

God Bless Professor Ferdinand, he was a genius young lad
He made the first Mercedes and created the VW brand
He taught every driver the joy of driving cars
So sleek and powerful rightly fit for racing stars!
I’ve Driven a Porsche! Hallelujah! I’ve Driven a Porsche! Amen!
I’ve Driven a Porsche! Hallelujah!
I’ve Driven a Porsche! Ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenn!


Oh yes!
I drove the Boxter last night! For full 30 minutes!
Hiba was the lucky passenger!

Ok let me start from the beginning!

I arrived before the rest of the family to the showroom. As the salesman I have the appointment with was busy, I took another tour around. Then I saw the red Carrera GT! Like a magnet I was attracted to it. It just arrived in the showroom, and unfortunately it was locked. I went around it and around it, touched it everywhere, peeked inside without shame and after few minutes I noticed that everyone else was looking at me!! I think they are not used to women in Abaya showing affection in public!!!

The salesperson then took me to the Boxter, put the key into the ignition (which weirdly was to the left of the steering wheel) and started the car and then told me I have half an hour if I like! I called up Hiba who was in the showroom and she jumped to the car.

After making a show of moving the seats and mirrors, I revved the engine and started my journey. After leaving the lot, Hiba asked if the car is marked by anyway to show that it’s not mine. I said nope. So she props herself up and we act that we are the cool owners of the Porsche.

I loved driving the car. It’s very powerful. I kept revving the engine every couple of minutes. I went home, called my sisters to come down, and they all sat in it for awhile. I know, we are a funny bunch! I then drove off, firing up the engine. My grandma was able to hear me from 100 meters away. And my grandma can’t hear properly!

Asif called me as I just started the drive. I think he went deaf with my exhilarated shouting!! I called my brother to show off a bit. After calling me few names, he thanked Allah for having sisters who shared his love for cars!!

Returning the Boxter, we got stuck in traffic and I reached the showroom with a splitting headache. The engine roar vibrated my brain in my skull. The soft top also let every noise from outside in, increasing the cerebral throb! Once I gave back the keys, I told the salesman, I have a headache! The soft top is useless! I need a hardtop! Lets discuss the Cayman S!

LOL

Well, after discussing the Cayman S, I’ve decided to test drive it. (This is getting better and better every second!) The test drive will be on the 17th as I couldn’t fit it in my busy schedule (LOL) before the motor show starting next week where the salesman will be for the duration!

Maybe I’ll arrange to test drive the Carrera 911 on the 25th and the new Carrera GT (AED 1.5 Million!) on New Years Eve!

Oh…life is so beautiful when you have a beautiful car in your life!!!




Till my next test drive…

I’ve Driven a Porsche! Hallelujah!
I’ve Driven a Porsche! Amen!
I’ve Driven a Porsche! Hallelujah!
I’ve Driven a Porsche! Ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenn!

Good Fogging Morning!

I slept well Alhamdullah. I was even Happy when I woke up. The elation level dipped as I got out of bed and saw my face! But then makeup does miracles, so I was happy again.
But no…nothing can hide the puffiness. I slept well, but I slept on my abdomen. Putting cream on my puffed eyes made me hungry, as I thought of cream cheese on Vol au vent! Yumm!
That cheered me up! I have to stay happy as today is a special day!


What a Fogging Morning! No…I’m not swearing!! Not really!!
It is a Foggy Morning! There is dense fog and the visibility is about 150 meters.
But a fog in Dubai means one thing: Emergency Flashers are on…ALL THE TIME! I could understand the slow driving and tolerate it. What I can’t understand is having the flashers on all the time. Haven’t these people heard of Fog Lights?
Of course the traffic made me lose by favorite parking spot (how dare anyone park in MY spot!!). I didn’t let the parking irritation ruin my mood. Plus I was listening to Vitamin on Alarabia. I never liked a Radio host like Vitamin’s host Sami. Whatever mood I’m in, he makes me laugh!
So, I'm staying happy as today is a special day!


I went to get my hot chocolate fix from Starbucks. It’s so cool going there. I never have to order, I just say Good Morning and pay and my special drink is made! Once I went to a different Starbucks and it took me few minutes to remember the exact way I take my hot chocolate!
Waiting for my drink, I noticed the “music” they are playing. It went like this:

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.
I don't know why she swallowed the
fly;
Perhaps, she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a
spider,
That wiggled, and jiggled, and tickled inside her.
She swallowed
the spider to catch the fly,
But, I don't know why she swallowed the
fly;
Perhaps, she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a
bird.
How absurd, to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the
spider,
That wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the
spider to catch the fly;
I don't know why she swallowed the fly;
Perhaps,
she'll die.

I couldn’t believe my ears! When the “singer” reached she swallowed a cow, my drink was ready! Thank God! I couldn’t resist but complain about the music. I mean really what type of music is this to hear in the morning!! But nothing will spoil my mood, as it is a special day!


The whole office is late or sick or something which means as the only attending female, the phone is my responsibility! URGH! And I have meetings scheduled back to back!! Double URGH! And my list to do (which is not one list) is growing and multiplying like a virus! URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
But I will not be affected! Today is a special day!


Before I run into my first meeting of the day… I’ll tell you why this is a special day.

My dream will come true today! (Inshallah and if all goes well)

I will drive my dream car. Ok, maybe not my real dream car but at least a car from the same species.











My dream car is Carrera 911. Today I will drive the poor man’s model: Boxter!
It’s true it’s just a test drive and I should not get too excited. A test drive just for the fun of it of course, I’m not buying….yet! LOL!! LOL!! And LOL!!
Today I will sit behind the steering wheel of a Porsche, on the sport leather seat with Porsche emblemed on it, shift the gear of a Porsche (the automatic gear of course), and drive off with a gorgeous guy! The salesman is really good looking!! But even if he was a monkey, driving a Porsche is all I’m after!

YIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Can't wait till I blog about that experience!!! :D

Back to Blogging!

The alert from my last post blared continuously during the last week.
I was cranky, grouchy, grumpy and very short-tempered.
Many things happened that normally I would have blogged about. But The Mood was not right for blogging.

The Mood has improved a bit today…so I will blog!



Old Is Good!

We have a saying in Arabic that says Qadeemak Nadeemak meaning things that you grow up with are your trusty companions.

I’ve been thinking of this saying all week. For two reasons:
1. Amr Diab is releasing a new Album soon. I grew up listening to Amr Diab. Even now, that my music taste has changed from when I was younger, my love to Amr’s music didn’t waver. I can even recognize a new song to be his by the first couple tunes. Listening to him relaxes me. His voice reminds me of so many good memories. I don’t think I will ever grow off him. The fact that he is getting better looking by each year also helps I’m sure. I am listening to him now, and I am thinking this is going to be a good day!
2. Last week, Aminah walked into my room smelling so sweet. I asked her what she had on and she said an old Issey. Since the early 90’s Issey Miyake was my signature perfume, when I couldn’t find it but in London. As the years passed, Aminah had Thierry Mugler's Angel and Haya had Chanel Allure as their signature perfumes. Signature perfume means that we could tell who is coming just from smelling the air before them! A couple of years ago, I grew up, and started using other perfumes. I was hooked on Chanel Chance for awhile and then L'Instant De Guerlain. Smelling Issey on Aminah brought back lots of good memories and I discovered that I really like how it smells more than anything else. So I went and got me a bottle. Sprayed lavishly on today, I already feel better. Yes, today will be a good day.


A Stressful Job!

I think the stress at work has finally showed on me. My boss sent me a forward with the subject “I love my job”. Now my boss is not someone who forwards jokes and fun emails. All the forwards I ever received from him were all work related. This forward had a PowerPoint attachment and I was the sole receiver. The presentation starts with a question: “And you think your job is stressful?” and then shows how a python hunter hunts!! Yes my boss has some weird humor. I forwarded his email to others asking them what they think he meant by the email. The unanimous reply was: "Stop Complaining and Nagging"! I liked David’s reply though: “It means that he wants to go out and hunt snakes with you. Simple as that”. If my boss asked me to go hunting for snakes, I’d just point on few ones we have at the office!


Drug Me Please!

But my job is stressful. Especially that I am doing more than one!!!
And it is having its toll on me. From last Thursday till Monday, I’ve slept 12 hours only.
Manil who got me from his London trip my special Neurofen Plus pills (unsold in Dubai as its considered a large dose of Iboprofen & Codeine) proved to be even more valuable. Moaning about my insomnia, he offered me a sleeping pill called Stilnox. He promised me that it will knock me off in 15 minutes. It Did!! I took them at 8 pm, and the second I closed my eyes, I was out! Unfortunately, I was up again at 2 am. 6 hours of sleep are not bad. But I wanted more, and more didn’t come. I thought of calling Manil to ask him if I can come and pick up another pill from him. It was just a thought of course.
Tuesday came and I was determined to go to my GP and get my own bottle of sleeping pills. RIGHT! Begging him that I can’t sleep, explaining that it’s affecting my work, and my social life (I’m being bitchy to everyone!), he gave me THREE pills and told me to take only half one. YEAH RIGHT!!
Of course my mom went nuts on me for taking sleeping pills, thinking I’ll become an addict. As if that’s possible with 3 pills only! Then maybe my new best friend Manil could supply me, for the right price of course!!
Asif tells me to try herbal stuff. Since he started going to the gym again he is becoming simply unreasonable.
Nana tells me to lie down and read Quraan on me. My sweet sister thinks someone gave me an evil eye. LOL!
I took half a pill. Nothing happened. I took the second half. Nothing happened. I was tempted to take another full pill, but I restrained. My resolve is very admirable!! Two hours later, I finally slept. I slept well, even though I woke up about 5 times during it.
I slept well last night too. Without any pills cause I am NOT an addict.
Well…actually I did take a pill!
I was vaccinated against Meningitis (left arm) and (the first of three) Hepatitis A & B (right arm) last night. Its for Hajj. Yes I’m going to Hajj this year inshallah. I have to get another two different shots on Saturday, one for the Flu and the other for Typhoid. Lucky me!
My arm was throbbing and I was getting a fever, so I took one of the Neurofen Plus just before I went to bed.
My left arm is still throbbing. I didn’t take anything to ease the pain, nor plan to. I am NOT an addict!



Shake It Up!

Sitting peacefully at work after lunch on Sunday, I heard some ticking; I looked around and didn’t figure out what’s happening. But my coworkers at the other side of the office were exclaiming as their desks and chairs shook.
While we debated weather it was an earthquake or an airplane hitting the top floors of my coworkers side (that was my explanation! lol), David decided that it was an earthquake and left the building. The rest of us stayed and looked at all those who evacuated. 10 minutes later, an announcement through the emergency speakers told us that the building is safe and we should remain where we are, and that the tremors were just from the ripple of an earth quake somewhere on the coast.

The people of the UAE had nothing to talk about for the next few days but the Earth Quake and the Gay Wedding of course.

Maybe I’m a sadist, but I really thought we needed more than a very short tremor. Dubai needs a real earth quake to wake it up! Few buildings falling, a couple of deaths and injuries, just to remind people they are not immune. A reminder of how short this life is and how it will end.



Without Wax

I’m signing my emails just for the fun of it by “Without Wax”… I’m not telling people yet what it means… cause no one is asking yet! I think people think I’m just simply WEIRD!

And on that note….

Without Wax!