The Why’s in A Moody Head - 2

I had a lovely lunch even though I had it with smokers. I hate smoking. I hate it more than alarm clocks too. I’ll write about smoking another time (Why do people smoke is not on my mind now).

I was talking about pets earlier. Juliet (my Birman cat) had her 3rd litter a couple of months ago (the father is not Romeo, her Birman partner, but some black street feline with unidentified pedigree). This litter consists of the most unfriendly kittens I have ever seen. Each time I hold them, they start screaming and attacking me until I drop them. Which brings me to my other Why. Why do cats, when dropped, always land on their feet? On the other hand, try dropping a piece of pizza or a chocolate donut or a buttered toast and it will always land on its face (that is the toppings side). If I tied a pizza to the back of a cat, and dropped them, would the cat land on the pizza face, legs up? Or would the pizza land on the cat, face up? Or would they just hover, revolving just above the ground, trying unsuccessfully to resolve their inevitable conflicts with gravity. I wish I could try it, but the kittens I have would bite my hand off to get to the buttered toast.

Ever thought why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to an appalling crust which no decent man (women would of course not even think of eating it, but men might!) would eat? Do they think that someone would wake up one morning thinking oh I want a scorched piece of bread? Oh yum, I want it with a full English breakfast, please.

Now why do menus always have full English breakfast, but never a full English lunch or dinner? Do the English eat their lunches and dinners in parts, and hence the lack of a full one? Maybe the English (known to be tightfisted) eat half lunches and half dinners. Maybe this explains why the English are half the size of the Americans. The Americans don’t eat full meals. They eat triple that amount….as snacks!

Why am I talking about food? I’m on a diet, that’s why!! Oh and that dinner is moved to Saturday. At least I don’t have to change my mood for tonight! Great!