Oh Pay Day!

Oh how lovely it is the end of the month.

Oh how delightful it is to see the bank account full again. It is such a euphoric feeling that lasts ….just for few minutes, before it turns into a misery.

Oh how ghastly it is to see the bank account waning again with credit card and loan payments wolfing it so quickly.

Oh how far it is the 31st of August!

Wedding Yard!

To celebrate the start of the weekend, I went with a friend on Thursday to watch Wedding Crashers by Owen Wilson & Vince Vaughn. It was a good laugh but the humor was based solely on sexual content. I liked Vince more than Owen. Owen was too dopey to look sincere effectively, but then I didn’t go expecting great acting. The movie would be a great date movie (has enough lovey dovey content to please the love stricken female), where the men wouldn’t be bored senseless. It’s a movie where both women and men will laugh together. My verdict: Go see it only after you have seen all the other movies you want to see and have nothing else better to do. This is a definitely a movie you could see in a video!

On Saturday, I went to see The Longest Yard by Adam Sandler & Chris Rock. Now that was a GOOD movie (It was not as good as White Chicks of course). It makes you cry and then laugh, and laugh really loud too. I couldn’t stop my tears coming out at the beginning of the movie, when Adam crashed the Bentley Continental. It broke my heart to see that beauty smashed from all sides. It still pains me when I remember that scene. From that point on, however, I couldn’t stop laughing. Even at the most “somber” moments, as during the Caretaker’s (Chris) funeral, there was some humor. This movie might not be very popular with the dreamy eyed females, but the men will adore it. Though ladies, if you want to see some great bodies, you will also like this movie (I mean really some nice bodies!) My Verdict: Don’t miss it on the big screen!

I went to see The Longest Yard by myself. I was one of the people who thought “URGH how can I go to a movie alone” but I have reformed a year ago. If I didn’t have company, I wouldn’t go. When I did have company, I’d have to agree on a movie that we all want to watch, which sometimes means not the one I want. It was that simple and that frustrating. So a year ago, I gathered my courage (and yes I thought I need courage to see a movie alone), and went to the least popular theater and the least popular movie all by myself. I enjoyed it. Now every so often, I go and see a movie by myself. It’s very refreshing. Of course, friends and family think I’m a complete weirdo. Am I? I don’t think so. Why do we need someone with us while watching a movie? To tell them to shut up, maybe? Or to explain the plot to them (I really hate that!)? Or worse, get hurt by their jerking when they get surprised (Yes Hiba, I will never forget that!)?
Fantastic Four and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (with a huge chocolate bar in hand) are next on my agenda of movies to watch alone, as no one is interested in watching them any way!

After successfully getting over my fear of going to the movies alone, I’m planning next to learn how to go to restaurants and café’s all by myself and not order take out! This will be very hard, but I’ll try! Now where is that coworker I’m supposed to go lunch with this minute?

Mexican breath!

I went to a Mexican restaurant yesterday with my gals. Freshly baked nachos and home made salsa were at the table waiting for us to devour it. After the initial shock of onions and spices, my sensible friends stopped. I brought the two dishes closer to me, and refused to let them go even after my fajitas came. That salsa was the best thing I ever eaten.

I brushed my teeth for 10 minutes this morning, gargled for another 10 with extra strength Scope, but the salsa flavor is still hanging on to my breath. I had a meeting this morning (where I actually had to talk) but since he needed my business, so he was polite!!

I’m going to get some chewing gum or chocolates (to melt slowely in my mouth) now and will be back blogging later on today.

(I know this is disgusting somewhat…but it is free blog!!)

Robotism

I’m in the programmed mood today. Everything I did is automated. I woke up, got dressed, drove to work, did some routine work, been to a meeting, more routine work, some boring business lunch (the food was great though), more routine work, now this auto post (and most utterly useless one), and now back to home. (yes!)

The Why’s in A Moody Head - 2

I had a lovely lunch even though I had it with smokers. I hate smoking. I hate it more than alarm clocks too. I’ll write about smoking another time (Why do people smoke is not on my mind now).

I was talking about pets earlier. Juliet (my Birman cat) had her 3rd litter a couple of months ago (the father is not Romeo, her Birman partner, but some black street feline with unidentified pedigree). This litter consists of the most unfriendly kittens I have ever seen. Each time I hold them, they start screaming and attacking me until I drop them. Which brings me to my other Why. Why do cats, when dropped, always land on their feet? On the other hand, try dropping a piece of pizza or a chocolate donut or a buttered toast and it will always land on its face (that is the toppings side). If I tied a pizza to the back of a cat, and dropped them, would the cat land on the pizza face, legs up? Or would the pizza land on the cat, face up? Or would they just hover, revolving just above the ground, trying unsuccessfully to resolve their inevitable conflicts with gravity. I wish I could try it, but the kittens I have would bite my hand off to get to the buttered toast.

Ever thought why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to an appalling crust which no decent man (women would of course not even think of eating it, but men might!) would eat? Do they think that someone would wake up one morning thinking oh I want a scorched piece of bread? Oh yum, I want it with a full English breakfast, please.

Now why do menus always have full English breakfast, but never a full English lunch or dinner? Do the English eat their lunches and dinners in parts, and hence the lack of a full one? Maybe the English (known to be tightfisted) eat half lunches and half dinners. Maybe this explains why the English are half the size of the Americans. The Americans don’t eat full meals. They eat triple that amount….as snacks!

Why am I talking about food? I’m on a diet, that’s why!! Oh and that dinner is moved to Saturday. At least I don’t have to change my mood for tonight! Great!

The Why’s in A Moody Head

I’m on the swings again. I am wondering why I am having the steep fluctuations in my mood today. No it is not hormonal!! I’m going to figure out this mystery by the end of the day. At least I hope I do!! I’m meeting friends for dinner and I definitely don’t want to be in “I’m grumpy and want to be alone” mood!!

Meanwhile, I have other Why’s to try to answer.

Take for example the question that I have been pondering about for awhile now: why would someone farm ants? Seriously, why? I fully respect these small hyper active insects. But to have them as pets?!! I’m guessing someone who has an ants farm in his/her house should be considering them as pets. You cannot pat ants (oops, I’m sorry Penny I crushed you. Next!). You cannot play with ants (Good girl Mini, now go fetch that piece of floss, while I nap!). You cannot walk an ant, let it sleep with you, or have it anywhere close to your body (Hey why are you so restless? – I have ants in my pants, literally!). You can’t even wash ants (You messy little thing, here is a drop of water to clean you…Opps, bye bye Goliath!). Ok maybe they are not thinking of having ants as pets when they have a farm. Is ants’ milk drinkable? How do you milk an ant anyway? There is definitely not much meat on the poor insect, except if you are on a very strict diet. Oh maybe they are after the eggs! Ants eggs for breakfast. YUM! Do Ants in Ants farms get branded? That would be a tedious job.

All that talk about food made me hungry…I’ll go to lunch and then come back to continue.

Snooze me till next life

If my alarm was not at the same time my mobile, it would have been broken into million of pieces by now. Whoever invented the alarm clock must have been an insomniac dictator. He (and it has to be a he) must have thought it was a great idea to satisfy his masochistic needs. I believe the sole purpose of an alarm clock in this life is to ruin the possibility of a good start to the day.

Alarm clocks are evil. I mean they really are weapons of the demon. They startle you out of your pleasant slumber reminding you that it’s time to vacate the warmth and snugness of your personal cocoon and get ready to go to the torture chamber, also known as WORK. For this reason only, alarms should be abolished.

I do love the snooze function though. I could sleep for a couple pf hours, pushing the button every 9 minutes. Sometimes I put the alarm a whole hour early, so I can practice my snoozing ability without actually being very late to work.

The worse feeling though is when you come to consciousness by listening to your own internal alarm, you open your eyes and you discover that you could have actually slept another five full minutes before the alarm clock would go off. I swear I hate my alarm clock that I get nightmares. Take last night for example. I woke up 3 times during the night because I heard the alarm going off. Of course my real alarm was not screeching. Was that a torture or what?!

The Land of Fog!!

No, not London. It’s Dubai.

Suddenly, while everyone was complaining about the hot humid weather of Dubai, the sky darkened. Everyone looked out of the windows trying to figure out what’s happening. “Is that a cloud? Or is it doom’s day?!” It sure looked like a cloud (I went online to get a picture of a cloud for comparison purposes). But we can’t really have a cloud in Dubai this time of the year!!
It started to get darker and darker. Hopes of rain started to be vocalized.
And then in less than half an hour, we couldn’t see the building next to us.
FOG!!
Impenetrable Dense Fog!
Humidity must have reached 200% to have this thick fog. My friend called me saying that she can’t see her parked car and that the air smells like poison! Interesting, I thought, and very dramatic.
But a fog in Dubai?!! This could only mean…MORE CAR ACCIDENTS. Oh no!! People will be driving as slow as pregnant turtles! They will be using their hazardous lights (I do not know who told them to use these while driving instead of fog lights) and braking every freaking second!!! URGH!!! My 10-minutes drive back home will become an hour long. I was also supposed to start my walks today (as part of I going to be healthy and Pilates alone will not help me lose the weight!). I guess I can’t do that now! (Hmmm fogs are not that bad after all!!). Till my next post…drive safely…and drive the heck out of my way!

Say NO to marriage!

All of my girlfriends are married. And they all seem to be jealous of my single status (soon to be known as spinsterhood). Or so they claim.
Every now and then, one of my friends would tell me why I shouldn’t get married. There are plenty and diverse reasons and of course they are all caused by the MAN!

Top 10 Reasons Why I shouldn’t Get Married (as told by my friends):

10. Man will forget your birthday, wedding & other anniversaries, and valentine’s. He will deliberately forget these dates even if you tell him they are very important to you.
9. Man will not listen to your constant moaning and will not provide comforting words or gestures after the first time (that is if you were lucky enough to get a sensitive man to sympathies with you at least the first time).
8. Man will embarrass you in front of your friends and family in many ways: his insensitivity, his unrefined eating habits, his immaturity, his dullness (or worse his stupidity!), and his uncoordinated dance movements.
7. Man will call himself “man of the house”, and expects you to call and coordinate with other men to fix that house (plumber, electrician, carpenter, gardener, etc!).
6. Man will be very keen on the idea of having a baby. Till you conceive. From that moment on, the baby will be all your responsibility not his. He will also expect you to get back in shape the minute the baby pops out.
5. Man will always favor his sport (even if it was wolfing food). All types of temptations and threats will fail to move you to the number one spot on his list, and sport will win.
4. Man’s romantic tendencies will expire the second the honeymoon begins and your romantic needs will be shot down with sarcastic remarks.
3. Man will destroy all your plans. When you plan a party at home, he will be late coming in. When you plan a holiday, he will cancel it at the last minute to attend an unexpected business matter. When you plan an outing with your friends, he will make you cancel it as he will fall sick and will need you to nurse him.
2. Man will enslave you. He will expect you to pick up after him, wash and iron his clothes, get his meals ready for him and any one he invites (you will know about the invitation when they walk in your house), go grocery shopping, pay the bills on time, and not to mention massage his hairy back after a game of football (which of course he chose to play instead of going out alone with you!).
1. Man is simply an a**hole, who would definitely hurt you emotionally, break your heart and make you cry.


Yesterday I was taking my 70 years old grandma to her doctor appointment when she started warning about men too. Out of nowhere, my granny tells me that I am better off staying single. She goes: “you are educated and independent. You do not need a man. Men will just make you miserable. They will make you unhappy, sad, and will break your heart” That scared me. My grandfather passed away more than twenty years ago, so my granny’s advice was not influenced by a recent marital fight and a hormonal attack (as I think is the case with my friends). Granny’s advice made it easier for me to be firm in saying no to marriage.



Of course it is easy to say no, when NO ONE is there to ask the question!

YUCK!!!

I face one traffic light before hitting the highway on my daily route to work. Nothing much happens while waiting for the red to change to green. At least usually. But today, a minibus, which was one car ahead of me, made me MAD. The driver opens the door, breaths in deeply and spews out onto the asphalt a humongous spit, which unfortunately I could see from my place! And to add to the insult, he shuts one nostril and blows out a vicious ball of mucus! Direct hit on the previous slimy glop. He must have perfected his bull eye technique over the years!! If that car was not in front of me, I would have hit him, cut his head off and run!! I would have driven so fast to get the head off my car of course after. Don’t want that gunk-making machine for too long on my car! I know this is a common scene in Asian-workers infested areas in Dubai, but do not do it in my area!! Urgh! (Bad mood day alert!)

Make up your mind, will you?!

I have a friend, who can not make a decision and just go on with his life. He has to torture himself by thinking of the different future scenarios and all kind of Ifs. He would lose sleep, be in sour mood, and worry about what he has missed or will miss that he is losing what is remaining of his hair (ok so boldness is hereditary, but stress speeds the process!). This post is dedicated to him (as an alternative to hitting him on his head for once and all)

So you are at a point of your life where the decision you make now, will change and shape the rest of your life, forever. What do you do? Easy, really!

First, list what YOU really want. If you don’t know what you want, you will never know when to be happy or content. Then think of what you have to do to get what you want. Are you willing to pay whatever price just to get that? What are your priorities? What is more important and what are you willing to sacrifice in the process of getting what you really want? These are facts. Build your decision based on these facts. Once you make the decision to cross the bridge, don’t look back. Just move forward. Get busy carrying out your decision and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome. Don't stew about the future. Just live each day until bedtime. Worry would break you if you allow it to crowd your mind. If you know that a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, then just cooperate with it. Just say to yourself: “It is so, it cannot be otherwise, life goes on!” Do not fuss about trifles (the termites of life) and ruin your peace of mind. Enough sawing sawdust!

Our life is what our thoughts make it. I’m not saying live in a fantasy world, but don’t be submerged with negative thoughts. When you face a problem, just remember the blessings in your life. Count them, one by one, and you’ll see how your problem shrinks. A mind that counts blessings has no room for self-pity. Stop playing the negative tapes in your mind. Eject them and insert new tapes! Picture yourself hitting the “stop, eject & play” buttons. If you can’t find the remote, go to the machine will you! Don’t think only in the terms "all or nothing". No one is a complete and total failure. Ok maybe you will hear people say that you are. Ignore Them. These people are the parasites of this world, who feed on putting others down. Stamp on them, and move on (For bugs lovers, it’s just a figure of speech, ok?!!!). Think about it, most things you do, you do them right. Just because you sometimes make a mistake or take a wrong path does not make you a total failure. It makes you human. So for God’s sake, be courageous, make your decision, and get on with it!

Blocked in Dubai!

My third day in writing and I’m already suffering from a writer’s block! Ok, maybe I am not a writer (yet), but I am definitely blocked! I am so blocked that I do not know where to start. But then, maybe I should start with where I am.

I remember when I was doing my high school in London, UK, people always regretted asking me where I come from. Originally from Yemen but living the UAE, sounded as if they should have paid more attention in their geography classes to even figure out which continent I’m talking about. I always had to explain that they are both neighboring countries of Saudi Arabia. Thank god they knew what (not where) that is!
It was the same case in Montreal, Canada, where I went to university. Of course I do not have to mention that during my various trips to the US, I never bothered to mention the Middle East. It was hard enough to explain where Montreal is!
But during my last year in Montreal, I found that it was easier just to say Dubai than UAE. It seemed that everyone knows of Dubai. It was amazing really. But then, you can't open a business or travel magazine without seeing some mention of Dubai. Dubai is making headlines all around the world especially if it is a trumpeting for a new real estate project (who came up with the idea of the World Islands!), a new shopping mall or some fashion-centric hotel - such as the Palazzo Versace Dubai resort that no other than Donatella Versace is opening in 2008. I could imagine how tacky that will be!! URGH!

In just more than a decade, Dubai has transformed from a desert with few landmarks (The World Trade Center, that marks the beginning of Sheikh Zayed’s Road, the main highway, and the Hard Rock Café, that marks the end of that road) to something that looks like the illegitimate offspring of a one night stand between Las Vegas, New York and Florida!!! Dubai is where you can hear the money made by the never ending hum of cranes and rumble of cement mixers. Some says it sounds better than the slot machines!

I have to be fair though. It is true that Dubai’s center (which is shifting daily) is basically a multilane highway with an ever increasing skyscrapers on each side, with mall after mall after mall, stretching across the desert as far as the eye can see, (if you really want to look in the direction of the sun of course). Dubai, however, and in my humble opinion, is the best city to live in. Dubai has excellent job opportunities, has a great night life, has many outdoor activities from golf, to sand skiing to all water sports, and it has the best shops in the world. For people like me who travel abroad for the shopping, they no longer have to. We can save on the ticket and get a Louis Vuitton bag instead!

However, not everyone can survive Dubai. Friends are not easily made here, not the real long lasting ones anyway. Most people who live in Dubai have their childhood or school friends somewhere else around the world. With the fast pace of life, this could put additional stress on some. On the other hand, Dubai’s population is a diverse mixture of people from literally around the world. Where else in the Middle East will you find a South African waiteress in a Lebanese restaurant, pronouncing the Arabic names of the dishes with a Lebanese accent! Dubai has an amazing ethic tolerance. What is more amazing, is that the people feel completely safe to the extent that they really believe that Dubai is crime free. So crimes are not reported as they are in the West, and Yes, the crimes that happen are kept hush hush, that when a robbery happen it takes a first page spread, BUT… Dubai is really safe. Any woman, child, or man, can walk anywhere in Dubai, any time of the day or night, and alone, without the fear of getting robbed, kidnapped or raped. I’m sure these things happen. They just don’t happen every 30 second as in the West, but maybe every 30 days (only if you are really daft to wear a bikini, walk in a workers camp, at 1 am!). The only dangerous part about Dubai is the stares a woman has to endure from the men, especially from some certain deprived nationalities! And yet we women could survive anything. We have survived living with the male species for ever now, haven’t we?

Branson in Yemen? NOPE

I told my friend, Asif, last night that I started my very own blog. He snickered and then sarcastically said “we’ll see how long this will last”. I told him that I’ve already wrote about THAT!

I was flipping through the channels yesterday, waiting for Rebel Millionaire to start its last episode (I already know who won, thanks to Yahoo, but I like seeing Branson and saying how wealthily gorgeous he is) when I spotted the breaking news on Al Jazeera. The Yemeni president who “owned” the country for 27 years has decided not to run for presidency in next year’s election. Ha, Ha, Ha….and HA! I could clearly see three possible scenarios behind this BRAVE and SELFLESS decision:

1. He is positively sure that the people who voted for him in the last two elections (that’s 99.9% of the votes) will BEG him to stay in power for a “third” period and change the laws (again) to allow this.
2. His son will become the party’s leader and since it is the domineering party (they have the army and the money), his son will be “democratically” elected to be the president. Presidency is NOT inherited in Yemen.
3. Yemen Republic will become the Kingdom of Yemen (That Small Bahraini Island Is Not Better Than Us!) and the beloved president will become his Royal Majesty The King Of Sheba!

How can I be introduced to Sir RICHard? I’d love to work with him, for him, whatever, as long as I get to call him my friend! And aaaaah there is still another episode left before Shawn is pronounced the winner. On another thought, maybe I could be just introduced to Shawn, he is young, wild, has a GOOD job and a sense of humor, and doesn’t drink! Perfect Match!

I’m supposed to start on a diet some day soon. My b-day is in less than 2 months and each year I go into this “I have to look like a goddess on my birthday” mood. I still have time this year, but it seems I will be the goddess of ice cream! I’ve discovered delicious ice cream squares (vanilla cubes with light chocolate coat) about 10 days ago (thanks to my friend Diana’s obsession with the dark chocolate ones), and they are becoming a regular part of my diet. The minute I come back from work, I head straight to the freezer, get a couple out, and munch on them (yes munch!!). Then maybe another one or two (or three if I’m good and I usually am) before bedtime. I wonder if I can go during the lunch hour and get few. Yum! (Better start drinking my water now! And maybe try to pretend I’m working!!)

Yippy!

So I woke up this morning. That’s an achievement in itself. I went to work. My boss was not in his best of moods today. That affects me immediately. I am automatically not in the mood to work. No, I mean really, I can’t even be bothered to respond to my friends emails. (This is to show that I have friends, and I am not totally weird!) I was reading a novel recently and one of the characters is an aspiring writer. Somehow, I am now interested in becoming a writer. And that’s when I was hit (smacked) with the idea of having my own web log. It doesn’t matter if no one will actually read what I write. Nor does it matter if any of those who venture to read don’t like what I’m writing. This is my junkyard, where all the mess and clatter in my head are being downloaded for storage.

I’m known to take up a new hobby every now and then. Writing in my blog will be my hobby for the next few months. And this is my first entry! Yippy!